blacktooth

christopher's online journal - i have a potty mouth.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

[insert witty title here]

secrets.

at 1:11am each night, i make wishes.

my choice to read and/or not read a book is baised soley on the fact that
i read the last page first.

duct tape.

i have no real justification for enjoying starbucks coffee. it is strong and good coffee. the rest is details for monkeys. coffee coffee coffee. strong. good. coffee.

until the age of 24 i wanted to be a rock star 'when i grow up'. then i met one.

smoking weed makes me feel horrible. so i do not partake.

i hate the lifetime channel, television for women. but i realy liked watching star jones on the voice before she pulled a michael jackson. speaking of michael,

i cannot remember a persons name if it is michael or david. swear.

most days i waste, thinking, brooding, juggling, and missing my friends who have left.

on the porch, smoking, conversations with god. we argue. she likes me.

people person in denial.

the songs played on live radio stations obey my chosen internal playlist.

powdered creamer. like at recovery meetings.

nipple rings.

i use ebay to buy and sell things.

remember fondly, my time working the drive through at 15 at Taco Bell.

love goodbyes. they are preperation. for the big ones.

whenever a bell rings, an angel gets another shot of JD and vomits: we call it snow.

school is for automotons... suckers.

triage.

all my respect and admiration goes out to Hospice Workers. ALL OF IT.

the big one: i love bon jovi. now you know.

-christopher


Saturday, July 22, 2006

holy diver



Take the quiz:
Which Holy Grail Character Are You?

Princess Lucky
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Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!


Friday, July 21, 2006

haiku for mu

Listen up people /
The takover begins NOW /
I got new teeth!


If any ladies /
would like some head,
nows is the /
time and mums the word. ;)


Chasing you through mud. /
My new fangs, evincible /
moonlight kiss and bite.


Saturday, July 15, 2006

July Update - someone shoot me

someone shoot me cause this feels great.
lot of crazyness goin down... this is me me me stuff so you were warned.
this month is turning out so cool! this is my best July ever!

-My sister is 4 months pregnant again!
-She is also now married to her batterer/abuser. Yay. (Sarcasm here)

now for actual good stuff.

-A beautiful kitten is moving in with me...
-To our new apartment! :) :) :P :P :) :)

This is sortof unreal still in my mind but...
-i made a sweet deal with a debt collection agency and will have my student loans out of default and my transcript unfrozen soon and will be returning to college! (must be in school to unfreeze loans -> must pay loans to unfreeze transript -> must have transcript to go to school -> must be in school to unfreeze loans... you see the pattern? its a parodox!). This is such awesome news, totally unexpected, just fucking great, wow.

-as previously mentioned, due to my insurance company stepping up like they had a pair, most of my dental surgury this month will be covered and people everywhere will hurt their backs bending over to kiss my ass, yay! :P

-the great pink curse is running great. it needs 450 450 320 $$$ in repairs and i will not be getting them, muahahaha, im gonna drive it till it drops dead and then fill it with cement and fuckin leave it there as a monument to how much i love the color pink, biatches.

-Patrick is going to college... this is a Hell of an acomplishment for him.

-Cassie hooked me up with online space to hold all my millions of new photos. AND we get to go to her wedding soon, so cool. and to Coreys wedding. You should all come along. Thanks :)

-Joes on tour playin music and keeping the damn scene on its toes, finally.


-and, i have a large cold Guiness.

thats it. maybe its not much but I think it is.
as though my whole world just shifted out of the red.
this is so good, im just trying to say Im fucking happy and
thanks to everyone whos helped me through shit.
when the movie and record and book deals come rollin in,
i wont forget who you are ~~~~:! peasout.

-christopher


Friday, July 14, 2006

crystal meth and me

Ignore my earlier post :) this is more acurately how Im feeling now: I Love yall. Realy good new graced my life today, though it was chaotic, it was welcome.

All this month and next month I am having major reconstructive dental surgury. Insurance, however much a scam it may be, has decided to cover me, Yay! Fillings, Caps, Root Canals, Complete Extractions, stuff like that. The first session was this afternoon, it was a pre-op setup thing. we discussed different options and they explained all the various procedures, the order we will do them in, how long they would take and how much they would hurt. and how much they would cost, oi. oh, and 15 people stuck 45 fingers in my mouth all at once, like a latex gloved finger bukaki.

I am somewhat over-emotional about all of this right now, I keep crying at random times out of nowhere, all day, La La drivin, BOOM! crying uncontrollably. La La walking to friends house, BANG! crying like a baby down the sidewalk. Its sort of strange. It happened while I was typing this entry too.

Im just so happy, Im happy and releived that they can help me, that this reduculous curse can be done away with. Also, I am hopeful that one day soon I will be able to smile without being reminded of how different, poor, and ashamed I am.

How strange it is, to feel so great about life and everything around me, yet to be looked at by most of the people I meet as though I was a fucking monster. people suck, you know? They bitch and complain about everything and everyone and how they are treated and they play the fucking victim CONSTANTLY, to avoid actually doing something that requires effort, change and accountability - then they turn around and treat another person like a piece of god damned road kill that makes them want to vomit. Like they deserve special treatment and all the people they step on deserve their feelings hurt. Like Insult and Condemnation are the appropriate punishments for being alive. You know what, fuck people.

If you see me, dont trust a damn word I say, Im so totally over-emotional right now. Its not even explainable. Imagine living everyday, everyday of your life in fear, shame and disgust, and no matter how hard you work to be balanced and confident, seeking your own happiness and place in the world, you are completely outcast among the very people who popualte that world. That the reality is that you have no teeth and your mouth is a jagged gapping hole of putrid filth in the middle of your face. That nothing you say or do, no matter how honest, sincere, or funny, will earn you the respect of most the people you meet, sometimes not ever your peers, because Americans are judgmental insensitive pricks obsesed with making everyone of their own feel insecure for not being a skinny tanned teenaged bimbo with perfect teeth and skin. Dudes, fuck americans. Yea, theres the whole 'dont give a damn what people think' thing, but Im old enough to know the differance between doing what I want to do while looking this way, regardless of what people think, and doing what I am pushed into doing by being treated like a fucking disease by most the people I meet because I look different and wrong to them. Fuck that.

My friends make a good case: most people suck, and I whole heartadly agree. There was a time I thought that deep down people were all kind and loving and friendly, thankfully a selfish little girl taught me otherwise. People are fools and jerks and morons and I do not realy care what they say, think, or how they look at me. But if theyre gonna treat me like an inferior then it will be because I have OFFENDED THEIR CLOSE MINDED SICK ISOLATED MATERIALISTIC SELF SERVING PARADIGMS. Not because God kicked in my face instead of theirs and they get to sit on a pedastal smiling at me with pearly whites.

Still, Makes it hard to meet people when your grill is a skatepark, ya know? Oi.

anyway, its over. The treatment plan was limited by my BULLSHIT SCAM SCAM SCAM insurance agency who wouldnt pay for anything, but I had a secret weapon ready: TAX REFUNDS! so instead of taking out all of my teeth and gumming my food to death and popping dentures in and out the rest of my days, or getting metal brackes installed with screw on replacments, they are going to fix most of my teeth and only 2 or 3 need removed.

In truth, I am exstatic. It did suck that they kept asking me about Crystal Meth. for the record, I do not 'do meth' nor do I intend to ever 'do meth'. You cant get pep like I got artificially bitches, its all natural baby. ALL NATURAL. AND IT AINT FOR FUCKING SALE!

of course, so are my broken chipping pocket black teeth so what can ya do? natural i mean. The dentists have NO idea what is causing my decay yet. They keep saying 'soda and crystal meth.' I dont drink soda and I dont do meth. So I told them that and they pretty much laughed at me. Maybe its built up hatred for stupid immature people who treat the world like their toilet and kind loving people like they are puppets and playthings. Maybe the bitterness in my heart is eating the enamal on my teeth. MY disgust for lazy human falts is cracking my teeth and making them disgusting. Or its the crystal meth. :)


As if its not embarrasing enough to say, hey check out my rotton teeth, arent they gruesome? im a freak of nature, in caveman days I would be dead because something is wrong with me and I have weak bones and a calcium deficiancy. Yea, i love being here and tlaking about this and its just so great when you touch my broken teeth with your rubber gloves and talk about me in the third person!

Yea, while youre at it, why DONT YOU INSULT ME TOO!!! call me a junkie and a tweaker and a lier, come on. I like it. I get off on it. now, Hit me and tell me to do the dishes. Oi.

Ok, Im upset about that part. Punk ass doctor muther fucker. I bet hes on meth. Anyways...

So something important is happening in my life and I am very happy about it. Its not a huge thing like a wedding, (shoutouts to Corey nd Cassie who are having their weddings this month :) but it is huge to me. You can all look forward to kissing my ear to ear smiling ass from now on cause Im gonna laugh and smile all I want to and there nothing anyone can do to fucking stop me. Except maybe punch me. In the mouth. So... please dont do that. Forget the whole 'ass kissing' part. Thats them, not you. Im so happy!


There I go with the crying again. Oi man, this realy is a lot to think about. It is scairy and exciting all at once, but I am sure it will be lots and lots of fun. BYOB peeps. peace.


YPSIROCKS!

man. let me share something with you. or not, i dont care. youre a cool enough guy, i will whether you want me to or not. this is a formal goodbye to ann arbor.



dear ann,

fuck you and the horse you fucked to get here. your soul is money. your cells are cancer. i hate you and all you represent. go die. love, christopher.


why did you leave town man? come! come to beautiful Historic Ypsilanti, move to Ypsi and suck the blood out of a2 yuppies, taking the number 4 and 5 buses, working in that shit tree town hell making sweet sweet loads of moolah and sleeping in scum holes in the Dirty-Y and getting drunk in the middle of cross street by the dick. Kick bums! steal books! cheap coffee shops and cheap male whores! bikes! trees! Ypsi is more ann arber than ann arbor is. good weed. good beer. well, ok beer. but beer all the same! CHeap beer, ha, ha!

nothing aimed at you, but I love Ypsi, fuck A2. Ann Arbor is a poser douch town and it aint shit for shit, you know. fuck elitist snobs and elitist punks and entitled college kids and entitled townies, rich ass buisness owners and dirt poor employees. fuck people who judge you because you have a piercing, or because you dont have enough of them. Ypsi is REAL and you can make real friends here. not these PREPACKAGED fucking losers who call themselves the scene.

fuck, im bitter and old and jaded, but I mean this with every ounce of spite and joy i have left flowing my varicose vein rivers. a song lyric from Against Me! came true, one too many fucking times, one, shit, WAY too many fucking times, everytime i walk around that god forsaken town! I will never live there again, i will touch no one tainted by its vileness. i will burn everything i can to the ground, fuck, fuck, fuck this fucking town.

"Even though the half of you won't even smile
The next time we pass on the street!"



dig: in aa they treat each other like a plague! you need to chill in Ypsi a while, where people treat each other like human beings. you wander the streets at night and other people are around. the shit people talk about this place, its just that, guns, yea, so. 2 years here, no ones given me so much as a dirty look. everyone ive met here is kind to me, except adam but weve got history. People give each other the time of day here. you creat your environment. ppl here, they WORK for a fucking living instead of BITCHING for it.

and you go to wander ann arbor after a while of Ypsi, its like goin to the MALL man. little kids everywhere, only they used to look like growups to you. you see em for what they are and always were, pussies. Like, a fair or a carnaval, its a joke. Ann Arbor is now a complete joke played on itself. Art Fair, dude fuck art fair. Burn art fair. Burn the hash bash. We smoke more in 1 hour in ypsi than all the fools at the hash bash all day. kids getting arrested cause no one is kind enough TO TELL THEM THEY CANT SMOKE ON CAMPUS. fuck, you assholes. ive watched, kids come from out of town, light up, go to jail. they dont know why. Its our fault because no one warns them. go ahead. tell me im wrong. make excuses for your own inactions. counter debate till your blue in the face you fucking yuppie whores. its true because it happenes, your excuses dont change that. talk talk talk. all talk. legalize pot, you cant even put out benches for people to sit on cause you gotta keep the disposable incomes moving in and out of your money making areas. fuck you. build public benches then talk about legalizing pot, morons.

or how about, getting towed because some cunt thinks your too close to her driveway? and you STILL gotta walk to the cop shop and then down past the gandy to pay 140 or walk down to the end of plymouth or over to brewers to find your fucking car. how about the 1 dive bar everyone goes too cause theyre all fucking tired and its turned into an unbreakable habit? everything there is a last resort. seething anger, oh warm my bones this winter and give me the strength to spit poison on these twisted arborites.

how about the railroad tracks I never see anyone else on? The empty street corners I never see yall playin music on? The music stores close, more coffee shops open up. We need more coffee shops, we do. How about being late to work cause you couldnt find a parking spot? how about the few punks who try hard to get shit together end up gettin burned out and sad inside? how about being NICE TO A PERSON for a FUCKING CHANGE? how about nevermind. fuck this.

I know the morning squirrels in the Diag by name. All of them. Fuck you.

how about why I dont even live here and Im the only fucking person walking around here at 4 am on my lunch breaks? even the beggars and bums have gone to sleep. where the fuck are the people in this city? everyone is a god damned flake.

fucking Ann Arbor,.worst slut I ever fucked.

Listen man, I think youll do good where ever you go. Im just sayin, we got a good thing over here, thats all. Haliit has the D'eagle. We got a bus station with a BW3 and a Strip Club all on one block. We got black people, wow imagine that. real life black people. who aint all rich ass college students. not urbz from other countries, theyre from michigan. who dont all work at McDonalds and guess what else? theyre not all crack heads. theyre people. fuck white ass fake wannabee ann arbor, did I say that already? racist sexist metrosexual bigot classist fucks, they can all die.



to the people of ann arbor:

fuck you bitches, fuck you and your tilted noses and hot topic MallRat garb. and fuck you all for running the only real people i respected and admired out of town and ruining everything goo dand holy I loved about this place. fuck you for not supporting each other and you know if this never got said its a damn shame, fuck all of you for not standing up and fighting when the perfnet got jacked. fuck whoever stole my playboy hat. fuck all the jerk offs from the picket line who screamed and yelled but never thought about fucking calmly explaining to me what was going on. FUCK THE PROTESTERS WHO DRIVE THEIR FUCKING SUVS TO THE PROTEST and fuck everyone who goes the the YMCA, fuck them in their homophobic boy cunts with beautiful crisp ann arbor pine trees.

One Day We will burn down this sick fucking city down. this thing I have to walk through every night despising. This, mockery of a once wonderful city. We will burn down these banks and bars and tanning salons and build a FEW MORE FUKCING SHELTERS SO I DONT HAVE TO KICK PEOPLE OUT IN THE WINTER SO YOU CAN HAVE ROOM FOR ANOTHER GOD DAMNE DSTARBUCKS!!! YOU PEOPLE ARE SCUM!

then maybe Sanchez's fucking nature walks could mean something, could be appreciated without smoke and noise and junkies and hummers and upper middle class assholes everywhere. fuck all these pussies, Im off to smoke alone on the streets of Yuppie Poser Hell at 4 in the god fucked morning. Ignore me, Im angry, and Im out. Peace.
-c


Sunday, July 09, 2006

a thousand words.

Fuck Flickr and their 'bandwidth' BS.
Now Ive got Facebooks, so there :PPPP.




I have many more pictures and will keep scanning and uploading, scanning and uploading. Time to get a digital camera :) peace everyone.



-christopher


Friday, July 07, 2006

pictures - my father






march 9, 1980
ron and christopher
3 weeks old
.
(click picture to enlarge)

when i was 6 years old i saw my father for the last time.

recently this picture was found, and others like it. so for the first time in more than 20 fucking years, i know what my dad looks like.

i wonder what he does now, is he honest? damn, i need to sleep, peace yall, love and all that jive.


pictures - utah








Pictures from Utah!


visiting Steve, Brandon,
and the children.

I Love You Guys :)







'climbing' a 'mountain'
:)


steve pissing


Q: Mosquito is to Michigan
as ________ is to Utah?
A: cockroach!


B-Dog grinds
out a Mad Ass Rock Opera from Jupiter!




im so hot.
- you may have seen this picture before, so again i say unto you, bask in the fine glow that is, me.



there are many more pictures, it just takes time to scan them in and to upload them, ha

more later this week, peace!



-c


pictures - patrick











my brother Patrick
just graduated from H.S.!
these are his senior pictures
with his girlfriend at
the time, Katie.

patricks senior picture

patrick and katie

on the beach?

katies senior pic

patricko suave'

patrick in a sweater! ooo!

i love my little brother,
just not his sweater

patrick on halloween, scairy!



My Photo
Name:
Location: Ann Arbor, Michigan, United States

for years i was 'unplugged'. no tv no internet no car no connections no mind. now i am in a place better than any i have known before - yet still feel ideologically outcast among my own friends and peers; it has always been the same. my teeth rot and no one agrees with me, not even the damn communists. my internal dialogue is non-stop and confusing. you think i talk too much when i just think too much and spit out the undigested lumps into our trivial dialogues. i think once i had an edge, but lost it somewhere, now i search for new intensity, or creative outlets at least. i do not want to grow up because when you grow up your heart shrivels. levity. the days fly by, projects go unfinished. hope is dead, a dead man's gamble, i have to stop wasting time! will humans ever stop killing? darkness. rain. good. god? i want more. too much. they teach us inaccountability and escapism, yet... this nothing is fake. i am learning, i am creating things. i am on myspace now, same username.

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